The Inside clamdigger has been quiet lately. I only post when I find a real human interest story. I found one that hits home that was posted by Michele Coyle on a true real stay at home mom. After reading this, only a few of you will honesty know what it’s all about!!!

One Stay at Home Mom’s Story
By Michele Coyle and Deb Iandoli

www.momaroo.com/720559858/one-stay-at-home-moms-story

My mom came home the other day after having dinner with some of her girl friends and handed me a business card. The card was from my mom’s friend Deb Iandoli and read “Human Development Specialist since 1986”. Deb is a friend my mom had just met so I asked, “What is she like a life coach or something?” (I could use one of those right now so I was excited!)

My mom began laughing and told me the story behind the business card. I asked her for her friend’s email address because I just had to contact this woman! Below is Deb’s story in her own words. I was originally going to just ask her a few questions about the business card and write up my own post on it but after reading her email I knew I wouldn’t be able to do her story justice and asked her for permission to post what she herself had written. It is an amazing story and one that I know a lot of other “Stay at Home Moms” will be able to relate to and get a kick out of!

Deb’s Story:

It all started a very long time ago: my first was born in 1986 and he’ll be 24 next month. Two and a half years later, I had my daughter who is now 21 years old. I began to feel like my brain was turning to oatmeal because all I ever did - 24/7 - was take care of kids and home. My then-husband (now ex) was NEVER here. NEVER helped with any of it. I read to my children a lot and spent a lot of time teaching my kids - stuff that was probably a little too “advanced” for them at the time - but I wanted to keep my brain from completely turning to oatmeal! Six years after my first daughter was born, my youngest daughter arrived - so I got to start the whole process over again! My youngest is now 15 years old and my brain has yet to turn to oatmeal!

Throughout those early years, whenever I went somewhere and was around other adults, often I would be asked what I did. I was quite capable of holding an interesting and intelligent conversation (and on more than one occasion, I was compared to Condoleezza Rice!!). Far too many people had the same reaction/response when I told them I was a stay-at-home-mom.

It was a very condescending “Oh, you really don’t DO anything” type of response. It really PISSED ME OFF!!! I work(ed) my butt off as a MOM and I took my “job” very seriously! Raising children IS doing something and IS extremely important. So that’s when I decided to find a way to deal with these ignorant people and to boost my own self-esteem at the same time. I gave myself a very impressive, important-sounding title and then made up a business card to hand out.

At many of the social functions that I’d attended and been “looked down upon” because I was “just a Mom”, some of the “professional” women and it was ALWAYS women who put me down because I was a SAHM would give me their business card as if to show me that they actually DID something and had some self-important title that was just so much more important than me or what I did.

I thought about what I actually did as a Mom over the next few days, organizing and detailing facets and the realities of BEING A MOM. I came up with a list. The list went something like this: (keep in mind it was a long time ago and I may have forgotten a thing or two…) What do I DO as a Mom?

1.I take the job of MOM very seriously. I take special care to make sure I am giving my children the best care, instruction and information I possibly can.
2.It’s my job to teach my kids: how to speak, how to eat, how to dress, how to get along with others, proper and improper behavior, manners, language, how to write, how to read, how to EVERYTHING!!
3.I specialize in the academic, religious, social, emotional development of human beings - my kids!
After reading my brief overview of my own job (as Mom), I came up with my new, impressive title: Human Development Specialist. I DO specialize in the development of humans - my humans - my kids!

At every opportunity, I handed out my card. 99.99% of the time, people were obviously impressed! It really made me feel better (not that I needed that - but I guess on some level, I did need that). Most people made assumptions about what a “Human Development Specialist” is or does, and I just let them think whatever they wanted to and/or I would simply say that “I specialize in the social, emotional, academic and religious development of children”. I just left out the part that they were MY children.

Funny thing - out of all the people I ever gave that card to, only ONE knew right off the bat that it was just another way to say “Stay-at-home-mom” and she was very obnoxious, self-important, and just a down-right “B” (you know what I mean).

I got a copyright on the term “Human Development Specialist” along with its definition (as stated above) so I actually “own” it! How funny is that?? I have no idea how Oprah heard about it, but she spoke about it on her show once! That really made me feel good!

But - THE MOST IMPORTANT THING is: I did and do take my job as a Mom very seriously. I did not have kids for someone else to raise and I knew that God trusted me to do the very best I could for these 3 wonderful human beings HE entrusted to me! In reality, the title was just a self-esteem booster for me, that I needed at the time AND it was a way to SHUT those ignorant, self-important, pompous ASSES up because they OBVIOUSLY had NO IDEA what it took to BE A MOM!!! If some of those women had children, they usually put the child in day care and/or had a nanny (and remember, it was WOMEN who put me down and looked down their noses at me for being a SAHM).

Don’t get me wrong about day care or help raising kids - of course I realize and understand that in some families, both parents have to work to support the family and I fully support that! What I don’t support are these women who “want it all” - climb the corporate ladder, prestige, and all that - and want a child who turns out to be some sort of “trophy” possession to SOME of these women. They want the child just to say they have a child, but have NO intentions of having anything to do with raising the child. Many of these women (I know personally) think it’s a prestigious thing to have a foreign nanny raising their kid.

Have you ever felt like someone looked down on you for being a SAHM?

Perfect holiday gift for animal lovers

The holiday’s are here once again. Now would be a perfect time to adopt a pet as a holiday gift. The Inside Clam Digger came across the perfect gift for animal lovers. I across the Castle-of-Dreams Animal Rescue (CODAR), a nonprofit animal rescue organization, located in the bayshore area of Monmouth County, N.J.

Codar saves animals from high kill shelters throughout the east coast and are fostered locally, vetted, and given the proper care, love and attention they deserve, until they find the forever family they so desperately need.

If you are not looking for a pet and love animals, they also take donations as they solely depend on adoption donations and is tax deductible. All donations are utilized strictly for the rescue and care of their animals.

For more information go to www.castle-of-dreams.com to make someone happy, while saving animals from these kill shelters.

Lady Dublyn
Dublyn is a 2 yr old shep mix, she is very sweet and loyal. She is fully trained in commands and housebreaking and would make the perfect companion for any family. When we rescued Dublyn, she had issues with other dogs. Dublyn has undergone an extensive training program at Shelly’s School for Dogs in Freehold. Her new adopters will be provided free personal training from Shelly’s to understand the commands she has learned. If you are interested in adopting from Castle-of-Dreams Animal rescue, please complete an application for adoption ADOPTION FORM

By John Azzolina

As many local Bayshore area residents, politicians and Bloggers are following the election this week. The Inside Clammdigger is staying clear of politics and dedicating today’s blog on the sudden passing of WILLIAM FENNELL (Bill) on Monday, November 2, while waiting for a kidney transplant.

Many of you may have seen or knew him from placing political signs around Middletown for the past twenty-one years for both parties.

Bill was born and raised in Brooklyn, N.Y. and moved to Middletown 35 years ago. He was a graduate of Keansburg High School in 1981 and a member of their Championship Football Team.

He worked for the Azzolina and Scaduto Families in businesses based in Middletown, Spirits Unlimited and Food Circus Super Markets, Inc. (Foodtown) for 27 years.

He was a big part of our lives, especially to my Father, former State Senator Joe Azzolina and my late Aunt and Uncle, Grace and Lou Scaduto. He has always been there for them, more than anyone would ever know. He was treated as part of our families.

At work he was a dedicated, loyal, loving individual. His sense of humor made us all laugh.

Bill was also a great husband and father to his wife Kristen Fennell; daughter, Melody; son, Henry and daughter, Jennifer. Also surviving is his sister, Louise Parker- Fennell of Highlands; William was preceded in death by sister, Deborah Fennell.

We will all miss him and our prayers go out to his family.

New Wines from Spain

Spirits Unlimited Middletown is introducing a fine range of Spanish reds from the mountains of Rioja.

In a video demonstration, Peter Fairfax, who represents an importer from Spain, describes three wines that would be great selections for this Fall.

It has been a long time since people have heard from The Inside Clamdigger (www.TheInsideClamdigger.blogspot.com) after The Courier newspaper closed its doors on April 3.

The Clamdigger website, which was originally developed by former Courier Publisher Jim Purcell, was transferred to Bayshore Press just before the newspaper concluded operations. Consequently, according to John Azzolina, vice president of The Courier, there has been a transition period to updating the Clamdigger.

The Inside Clamdigger is now a part of Bayshore Courier News (www.BayshoreCourierNews.com), which is owned by Denise Reinle and John Azzolina. The new ownership tandem formerly worked for The Courier newspaper, as its production manager and vice president/business manager, respectively. The Courier’s website was originally constructed in 2006 by former Courier Associate Editor Jacklyn Corley.

“Ms. Reinle and Mr. Azzolina realized that digital news is the next generation of journalism. They have resumed the partnership in place with Rutgers University, which was developed by The Courier,” Azzolina said. As part of this partnership, Bayshore Courier News will continue to receive various levels of support from the university.

According to Azzolina, Bayshore Courier News and The Inside Clamdigger were both acquired by Jersey Shore Media, LLC. (t/a. Bayshore Courier News), and he has great confidence in their future. “I think every part of the printed news industry, not only locally but nationally, is going through a very challenging period,” Azzolina said.

The Courier’s printed edition was supposed to be sold to a local media company. However, Azzolina said, negotiations involving the sale of the newspaper could not be concluded. In the meantime, Azzolina said former employee, Denise Reinle came to him with a hope of buying the online edition of the newspaper, as well as The Inside Clamdigger, to operate and build.

Reinle concluded, “There is a transition period going on at the websites right now. My mission, and John’s, is to create even better websites that can be the local news sources for Northern Monmouth County online and there is a lot to do in order to get it where I want it.”

For more information call Azzolina at (732) 671-2220, ext. 6210.

MIDDLETOWN TOWNSHIP, MONMOUTH COUNTY, NJ — Veterans of Foreign Wars Post No. 2179, along with its Ladies’ and Men’s Auxiliaries, Port Monmouth, and the Mayor and Township Committee of Middletown will jointly sponsor the 52nd Annual Veterans Day Parade on November 8. All fraternal, veterans and civic organizations, as well as schools and scout troops, are invited to participate.

The parade will assemble at 12:30 p.m. at the Bayview School, 300 Leonardville Road, Belford. The parade will step off at 1 p.m. and proceed through Campbell’s Junction. The theme of this year’s parade is “American Heroes.” Grand marshals for this year’s parade are William J. Travis, past commander of VFW Post 2179, and Mary A. Weber, president of the Ladies Auxiliary.

Interested individuals or groups wishing to participate should contact Jim D’Elia, parade chairman, at (732) 275-1588 (email: jimde55@aol.com).

KEANSBURG — Journalist-turned Baptist Minister Jim Purcell will be reading excerpts from his new book, “Faith Outside the City,” at the Keansburg Waterfront Public Library, 55 Shore Blvd. on Sat., Oct. 24th. The reading will take place between noon and 2 p.m.

Purcell will be joined at the reading by “World Takes” author Tim Waldron, who is an editor at Word Riot Press, based in Middletown. Waldron will also be reading excerpts from his book, which has been in print for several months and has been featured in such publications as NJ Monthly Magazine.

Purcell, who formerly published The Courier weekly newspaper for Bayshore Press before it closed in April, said he wrote most of the 177-page work last summer. “I think there was this need within me to talk about everyday Christianity, and some of those things that hold people and communities back from finding real peace in faith,” Purcell said.

Purcell began attending the New York Theological Seminary, in Manhattan, during 2006. He is scheduled to graduate from the seminary in May, 2010 with a Master’s of Professional Studies. Yet, he credits his renewed interest in faith to his coverage of the World Trade Center attack, in Lower Manhattan, during September 2001. Purcell covered the efforts of Keansburg volunteers at Ground Zero, and consequently chose the borough as the place to premier his book. It was at Ground Zero, Purcell said, that his witness to the courage and devastation of the attack sparked his call to ministry after a long absence from his Baptist faith.

“There is a political element to the book, I suppose,” Purcell said, “because it talks about those who are marginalized in American communities of faith: homosexuals, the poor, women, immigrants, those of faiths other than Christianity, and minority groups, among others.” Inspired by Christian theologians like Cornel West, Obery Hendricks and Dale Irvin, Purcell said he found his voice in print after coming to the realization that much of what separates communities of faith usually has something to do with human agendas. “So much of the pain, guilt and division that plagues us as communities and peoples of faith is this idea that there are some groups that love God or humanity more than others. Walls get put up to people and groups, shutting them out and it is these walls that weaken, not strengthen, our individual and collective beliefs in God and salvation,” he said.

Purcell said he would specifically be reading excerpts from his book regarding borough volunteers’ efforts at Ground Zero during this upcoming reading. Purcell noted he is also honored to be joined by Waldron, whose work the author said he is a fan of. “Tim Waldron is one of the most talented young writers out there, in my opinion,” Purcell said. “He has an amazing amount of talent and I have heard him read his work several times, in venues from Rhode Island to Manhattan, and keep finding new ways to appreciate his work.” Purcell also thanked Keansburg Librarian Darlene Franklin for scheduling the reading at the popular borough library. He noted that, when contemplating where he would launch the new book, “It couldn’t be anywhere else other than the borough. It is like a second home and a place that has been and is very important to me.”

“Faith Outside the City,” which is Purcell’s first book, is being published by Word Riot Press. The book sells for $14.95 per edition, and will be available for purchase online at Amazon and at selected local bookstores by mid-October. As well as in print, Purcell said “Faith Outside the City” will be available in a Kindle format.

For more information about the reading, call the library at (732) 787-0636..

There is a website that has some great information about breast cancer awareness at www.cancer.org. There has been an increase in the amount of support for fighting cancer that I have seen. In particular, Major League Baseball and the National Football League have each made great strides in becoming partners against cancer. Be sure to link this organization if you operate a site or stop by next time you are browsing the Internet. In the end, we’re all in this one together.

Tinton Falls & Toms River, NJ – Imagine technology so advanced it helps stroke and other neurological patients in their recovery of hand function to grasp and release objects, tasks some stroke victims believe to be impossible.

This technology is now a reality at HealthSouth Rehabilitation Hospitals of New Jersey located in Tinton Falls and Toms River through an advanced therapy system called the NESS H200™. Distributed by Bioness Inc., (www.Bioness.com) the neuroprosthesis consists of a simple splint that slips over the patient’s forearm and hand. Embedded in the device are five surface electrodes that stimulate muscles responsible for grasping and releasing objects. A microprocessor allows the therapist to program the device with a series of exercises customized for each patient.

Dr. Todd Cooperman, medical director at HealthSouth Rehabilitation Hospital of Tinton Falls, says “NESS H200 offers tremendous benefits over traditional therapy for patients with stroke, spinal cord and brain injury, helping them to restore lost hand function.” “We are very excited about incorporating this technology into both the acute rehab programs and outpatient services,” Joseph Stillo, MD and medical director of HealthSouth Rehabilitation Hospital of Toms River says, “There are substantial clinical studies pointing to the value of functional electrical stimulation for neuromuscular re-education early in a patient’s recovery.”

It is believed that following a stroke, through repetitive training using electrical stimulation, the patient reeducates his/her muscles using new connections formed in the brain. After a patient has put on the NESS H200 he/she can move, grasp and release objects immediately. In addition to muscle re-education of the arms of stroke survivors, the NESS H200 may also improve circulation and reduce muscle spasms.

HealthSouth Rehabilitation Hospitals of New Jersey located in Tinton Falls and Toms River are accredited by the Joint Commission and hold disease-specific accreditation for stroke rehabilitation. HealthSouth Rehabilitation Hospitals provide a higher level of rehabilitative care to patients who are recovering from stroke and other neurological disorders, brain and spinal cord injury, amputations, orthopedic, cardiac and pulmonary conditions. For more information regarding the variety of programs and services offered at HealthSouth Rehabilitation Hospital of Tinton Falls and Toms River, please visit www.rehabnj.com or call (732) 460-5320 in Tinton Falls or (732) 244-3100.

Middletown Committeeman Patrick Short has decided to once again seek a three-year term on the governing body. According to MiddletownMike.blogspot.com, Short made his final decision to stand for re-election recently. For more information, go to: http://middletownmike.blogspot.com/2009/04/short-to-seek-re-election-to-middletown.html.